Liquor? I barely even know her! (jokes)
My friends and I have spent an embarrassing number of hours reliving our adolescent days, coming up with these groan-worthy puns. Occasionally, a few will touch upon the absurd and, very rarely, the sublime. After the jump I present to you the current, canonical list of Er-jokes. Add more in the comments or in emails and I’ll keep the list updated.
Update: The best ones from the comments have been added to the canon as of 10/21/2010.
- Actuator Assembly
- All-Night Bender
- Amplfier Response
- Backpacker
- Ball Peen Hammer
- Bang Operator
- Batter Up
- Bitter Almonds
- Bitter End
- Bitter Herbs
- Bitter Melon
- Bittersweet Chocolate
- Bone Doctor
- Boom Operator
- Border Collie
- Border Crossing
- Brandy Snifter
- Buffer Overflow
- Buffer Zone
- Bulk Uploader
- Bunghole Liquors
- Buster Poindexter (meh), Buster Keaton (meh)… Buster Brown (that’s more like it!)
- Butcher Block
- Butterfinger
- Caesar
- Can Opener
- Catcher in the Rye
- Citrus Reamer
- Cedar Junction
- Cedar Chest
- Cedar Drawers
- Cherry Picker
- Clam Digger
- Cocoa Butter
- Cocker Spaniel
- Consumer Awareness
- Consumer Goods
- Consumer Products
- Copperhead
- Cracker Barrel
- Cross-Compiler (AB)
- Cup and Saucer
- Disassembler (AB)
- Elevator Action
- Elevator Button
- Elevator Shaft
- Elixir
- Employer Information
- Engelbert Humperdinck
- Exeter
- Evildoer
- Explore Outer Space
- Feeder Pipe
- Fertilizer
- Fiddler Crabs
- Fiddler on the Roof
- Filler Items, FIller material
- Flickr Set
- Flying Saucer
- Fluffernutter
- Footlocker
- Former Tight End
- Governor Schwarzenegger
- Hacker Conventions
- Hoover Dam
- Impeller Inlet
- Inflator Figure
- Inner Back Bay
- Inner Ear
- Inner Harbor
- Inner Peace
- Inner Sanctum
- Innerspace (Movie)
- Inner Tube (See Also: Rubber Inner Tube)
- Inner Workings
- Insider Knowledge
- Inspector Gadget
- Jabberwocky
- Letter Opener
- Liquor and Wine
- Liquor Box
- Liquor Cabinet
- Liquor Filled Bon-Bons
- Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear
- Master Felter
- Meat Cleaver
- Meat Grinder
- Meat Tenderizer
- Melon Baller
- Mike Ditka
- Non-Dairy Creamer
- Nut Driver
- Nutter Butter
- Oakland Raider
- Off Kilter
- Orel Hershiser
- Organ Grinder
- Oven-Stuffer Roaster
- Plumber Crack
- Poconos (Terrible, we know, but bears mentioning due to this Onion article)
- Poker Face
- Polar Bear
- Polar Coordinates
- Poster Tube
- Power Bottom
- Preprocessor (AB)
- Puffer Fish
- Pumpernickel Muffin
- Quarterpounder
- Resonator Cavities
- Raider Tight End
- Razor Bump
- Ring Buffer
- Rochester
- Rotterdam
- Rubber Bullet
- Rubber Chicken
- Rubber Dinghy
- Rubbermaid
- Scout’s Honor
- Scratch ‘n Sniff Sticker
- Seam Ripper
- Seeker Head
- Serger Seams
- Server Stack
- Shaker Furniture
- Shaker Pie
- Sneaker Pimps
- Sniffer Dog
- Soccer Ball
- Stiff Upper Lip
- Stream Parser (AB)
- Stretcher
- Sucker Cups
- Suckerfish
- Sucker for Punishment
- Sucker Punch
- Supercollider
- Tail Gunner
- Tailor-Made
- Taper Down
- Tenderloin
- Tickler Ukulele
- Tinker Toy
- Tire and Rubber
- Tire Sealer and Inflator
- Toaster Oven
- Tokenizer (AB)
- Trick or Treat
- Tupperware (see archaic definition for “tup”)
- Upper Back Bay
- Uppercut
- Uppercase
- User Interface
- Vacuum Cleaner Parts
- Ventilator Shaft
- Visitor Center
- Watermelon (Best said as: “You want me to watermelon?!”)
- Whipped Cream Charger
- Whippersnapper
- Whistleblower
- Wicker Basket
- William Shatner (FTW!!!!)
- Wiper Fluid
- Woodpecker
- Woodpecker hole
Bonus! Other pronoun-jokes:
- Bonus
- Cornerman (well, it’s an -er, but the subject is an -im, so I’ll put it here)
- Homo Erectus
- Official Dictum
- Parnassus
- Succumb to Damage
- Succumb to Fatigue
- Succumb to Injury
(Note: a lot of these come from this old MIT page)
Related Posts:
- Overheard at Instructables (December, 2007)
- Snow Biking in Alaska (January, 2008)
- Wrong Forum (May, 2010)
- Don’t Vote! (October, 2008)
- Plug it in, Plug it in (July, 2007)
July 20th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Inner Peace Insider Knowledge
July 20th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
some others from a recent Thursday dinner
Catcher in the Rye All Night Bender Quarterpounder (where to place the comma?) Tinker Toy Cocker Spaniel Butterfinger Sticker Shock Border Collie (Border Crossing?) Plumber Crack (Roto Rooter? Liquid Plumber?) Hoover Dam Checker Luggage Nutter Butter Buster Poindexter Buster Keaton Whicker Basket Governor Schwarzenegger Toaster Oven Trick or Treat
July 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Awesome. I can’t believe how many of these I’d forgotten. Adding them…
July 21st, 2008 at 5:40 am
ReiserFS
July 21st, 2008 at 9:24 am
liquor in the front, poker in the rear (sign at a bar) daimler chrysler (from brendan) parnassus (also from brendan – his favorite of all the “er” street names in SF)
July 21st, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Here’s a few more, off the top of my Double Header…
Liquor Cabinet Suckerfish Oakland Raider Cocoa Butter Jabberwocky Scratch ‘n Sniff Sticker Sniffer Dog Clam Digger Engelbert Humperdinck Cherry Picker Soccer Ball Hacker Conventions Puffer Fish
And, finally… Cornerman?! (but I don’t even know him!)
July 21st, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Awesome. Adding a bunch of these.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Green Bay Packer
July 28th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
somebody help me.
Frequent Flyer Package Red Hot Poker Beg to Differ
August 5th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Watermelon. best said as: you want me to watermelon?! Backpacker!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
New, from Amos: Power Bottom and Bone Doctor
September 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Duh: Woodpecker!
October 1st, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Double Duh: Fertilizer! (from Amanda)
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Brandy Snifter Poster Session (from Sam) Dissertation (from Ben, but nonsensical…)
October 11th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
fender bender?!
October 11th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
batch uploader?!
October 13th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Jess corrects me: Bulk Uploader?!
October 21st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Flying Saucer?!
Amos: Plumber Crack?!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
bitter melon
October 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Reminds me of: Bitter Herbs
November 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
organ grinder Flickr set tickler ukulele
November 13th, 2008 at 8:58 am
meat grinder employer information
November 20th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
tail gunner
November 24th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
bonus!
nut driver (from marc)
December 1st, 2008 at 12:34 pm
poster tube
December 1st, 2008 at 3:23 pm
ball peen hammer
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
bang operator
December 4th, 2008 at 12:18 am
boom operator (less evocative, but more recognizable to non-coders)
December 4th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Sleeper Cell
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
From Amos: Stiff Upper Lip
February 11th, 2009 at 8:36 am
marc suggests “batter up”
February 16th, 2009 at 5:13 am
wiper fluid?
bunghole liquors? no, really, i just drove by that place last night: http://www.bungholeliquors.com/component/option,com_contact/Itemid,3/ http://www.thesaleminsider.com/2008/01/10/get-it-in-the-bunghole/ http://flickr.com/photos/bikitabanana/336209463/
March 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Citrus Reamer
March 29th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
you have woodpecker… but woodpecker hole?!
April 15th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
From Sam: Rubber Bullet?!
April 29th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
From Axel:
shaker furniture!?
and a little less plausibly:
shaker handicrafts!?
and
shaker knicknacks!?
aa
April 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Letter Opener
April 29th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
an old one, not on the list for some reason:
off kilter?!
and a couple new ones:
server stack?! spoonerism?! whipped cream charger?!
May 4th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Commander Data?!
May 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
kitty corner?!
(trivial trivia: i think this may be the only one on the list that starts with k)
June 3rd, 2009 at 1:58 am
tenderloin?!
July 9th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
poker face
October 4th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
From Ben: cup and saucer (a good one, methinks)
November 15th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
From Jess: Razor Bump
December 11th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Sneaker Pimps!?
December 13th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
From bornstein: melon baller?!
December 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am
vector lover(s)
December 27th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
seam ripper?! meat tenderizer?!
December 27th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Those are clever, Axel, but damn.
December 28th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
rector street (yeah i did!!)
January 4th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
eric i got one more gory one, and then i’ll make it all better:
meat cleaver?!
cleanse that with a:
unicorn chaser?!
January 4th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Correction: Melon Baller was Mark’s, not AB’s. Or so Mark says…
January 4th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
serger seams?!
January 4th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
and another one more up axel’s alley:
butcher block?!
January 5th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Hudsucker proxy?!
January 24th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Master Felter?! (from Nicole)
January 27th, 2010 at 11:01 am
sugar in the raw?!
January 27th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Hm. I’m not sure what it means “to sug” or “to shug” someone, but Urban Dictionary has some ideas: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shug
February 10th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
From Ballantyne: Doppleganger?! Funny, if you allow yourself to invent a new verb.
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:59 am
fluffernutter!
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 pm
LOL. Another absurd one
February 25th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
From Whit: Shaker Pie
June 6th, 2010 at 9:14 am
Footlocker?
June 19th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
A good one from Marc: Cracker Barrel?!
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:42 pm
Upper case?!
June 29th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
i can’t believe we haven’t gone here before:
twitterstream
July 12th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Gknot apologizes also for missing “buffer overflow”. He atones, however, with “rotterdam”. Yuck.
July 21st, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Marc sez: “Filler Material?! Postmaster!?”
July 30th, 2010 at 7:44 am
Poster?!
Osterizer!?
Blender?!
Pepper?
Decanter!?
Black and Decker!?
Party pooper?!
July 30th, 2010 at 9:58 am
buster brown
July 30th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
geez marc… remodeler much??!
September 17th, 2010 at 8:08 am
From Zachary: Buffer Zone?! Makes me think of: Ring Buffer?! (because I’m a dork)
October 21st, 2010 at 6:53 pm
[via wiley]: parker spitzer
October 21st, 2010 at 6:56 pm
i was just thinking about this site this morning when I thought of: bumper sticker?!
October 21st, 2010 at 6:58 pm
i’m very disappointed that no one has followed up on twitterstream.
twitterrhea twitterback twittersphere twitterverse twitter app twitter plug-in twitter bug
… twitterER
October 21st, 2010 at 9:54 pm
You have to add Chun’s “decorator generator” in ref to Kasima’s code snippet
October 21st, 2010 at 11:55 pm
rubber pants. rubber hose. rubber duck.
October 22nd, 2010 at 8:25 am
Okay, gknot. I just looked up twit and didn’t realize it was a verb (i.e. “To reproach, blame; to ridicule or tease”). So, I passed on it earlier because I thought it was nonsensical, but with this new meaning it’s not bad. Definitely some good variants possible, here. There’s another good anachronism on the list, too: Tupperware!
October 22nd, 2010 at 8:39 am
anywhere she wants me to
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Season Opener?!
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:45 pm
From Josh: Power Snatch
From Hatim: Whopper with Cheese
November 15th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
From Stephen: Hardwood Floorer
November 22nd, 2010 at 7:09 am
Crumpler bag
November 22nd, 2010 at 7:11 am
We should have a vote for the best -er joke. And use some kind of weird, progressive voting system; instant run-off or whatever.
November 22nd, 2010 at 8:45 am
I own ibarelyevenknowher.com. I keep thinking I should have a little app up on there that scrapes this post and shows random -er jokes to people, or lets them do bitwise ranking on them.
November 29th, 2010 at 4:48 am
In honor of new TSA machines…
Backscatter?!
December 1st, 2010 at 6:48 am
also timely: pornoscanner?!?
December 4th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
honor roll
your honor
December 8th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Three from Amos, working the X Insider magazine angle:
Apple Insider
Soccer Insider
The Options Insider
December 20th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Stocking stuffer!?
December 20th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
frother?!
December 21st, 2010 at 11:31 am
Back to basics: Liquor Run
December 27th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Hunter Lovins
January 20th, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Gamer? Hardcore gamer?
March 12th, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Exeter??
March 28th, 2011 at 7:40 am
I realize this is a crop of an earlier one, but…
Ventilator!?
March 31st, 2011 at 3:57 pm
For the NoCal folks:
Baker Beach?!
April 14th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Poker Chips? Poker Game?
January 14th, 2013 at 11:30 pm
Rosco: Poster child?! Polar south?!
Kelly: Mister right ?!
March 3rd, 2013 at 7:09 pm
Jess: Taste Tester?!